“Theres only one Abu Dhabi, Only one Abu Dhabi, fill up your car and we’ll buy Kaka, walking in a City Wonderland”

Sometimes a week feels like a week, other times a week can feel like only a few days have hurtled by. This last week seems to have lasted a month.

This time last week, I supported a football club with big dreams, huge ambitions, a corrupt and fugitive chairman and no money. Today I support the worlds richest football club……

I was working from home on Monday, when I first realised something was afoot. I started receiving calls from fellow city supporting friends urging me to turn on the TV. As I flicked the channel over to Sky Sports News I saw a reporter interviewing a mancunian scally being interviewed outside our ground with what appeared to be a tea towel wrapped around his head, secured by gaffer tape. It turns out that this rudimentary headgear was actually a homage to our new Abu Dhabi owners who had just bought the club for about £200m. The reports were suggesting that our new owner, one Dr Sulaiman Al Fahim was planning to invest further vast sums of wealth in order to allow us to compete at the top level.

By the end of Monday when the football transfer window closed, our status as the new rich kids of football was confirmed. We had made audacious bids for several players of £30m+ and landed Robinho for a new British transfer record. It seems that money is literally no object and Dr Fahim has since spoken about his likely transfer targets and the vast amounts he is prepared to spend to get them.

It seems we are now the Harlem Globe Trotters of football which is something that will take some getting used to. Its just ten years since we were in the second division, owned by a man that sold toilet paper for a living and being dumped out of cup competitions by teams from towns that I’d barely heard of. My team were the one that everybody felt sorry for or laughed at and made jokes about. Now, we’re already being despised because of our new found wealth and I couldn’t be happier with that………Now the newspapers today are full of stories about our new owners spelling the death for football as we know it. Hopefully not before we finally win something!

I’m also hoping that our new owner will reward my loyalty to Manchester City by funding the remainder of our barn renovation. When you consider some of the terrible football and dramas and tragedies I’ve had to sit through, I think its only fair. I think £60,000 should cover it and he can come and enjoy the rain in France whenever he likes. I’ll get my teatowel and gaffer tape ready.

Three weeks to go until France! We’re frantically trying to sort out a plumber so that our heating is working when we get there. We’ve heard the tales of terrible weather (much the same as here in the UK) and by the time we arrive it will have started getting cool in the evenings, so hopefully we can get something sorted or else it will be a week of chopping wood for me.

Apparently Sarkozy is traveling to Croydon this week as he sees it as a model on which to base the future of Paris on! I can only assume he’s never been to Croydon before. Either that or he wants Paris to be a shit-hole with non-descript features and a large number of homeless people. Really!